Take Action Against Your Limiting Mindset
Most of us seem to be skating in circles around our intentions. With the abundance of distractions in this modern world - anyone with multiple passions or interests, and God forbid a bit of ADHD sprinkled on top - we’re pretty much doomed in the productivity realm.
Or so I thought, until I came around to accepting how expansive we can be, people in general - pairing that with unapologetic, imperfect action can serve results in our everyday reality that have the potential to exceed our expectations profoundly.
There are countless ways we could approach this topic of how we skate around ourselves and our higher potential unconsciously. We are all so beautifully unique and creative to our demise that it often goes unnoticed for so long, and our limitations become a part of who we are.
Let’s explore some ways you might embody an unconscious limiting mindset and dive into how we can navigate the limitations to reach deeper self-awareness and action towards a more joyful life!
You might identify as:
People Pleaser - doing things you wish you knew how to say “no” to - you care so much about your people that you tend to come last.
Scaredy Susan - all the “what if’s” - judgement, disaster, failure on repeat.
Hovering Perfectionist - everything has to be just right before it’s just right, likely keeping anything from coming to completion, let alone start.
Distracted David - all things-to-do list, doom scrolling, “productive” mini-tasks that inhibit your ability to start the REAL things - passion projects, new businesses, creative outlets…endless open loops is your middle name.
The Fourfold - all of the above served on a lovely vintage platter paired with all-you-can-eat excuses and aged cheese. I know, so gloomy - and I don’t even eat cheese!
As we identify what may be in the way of our productive and momentous selves, I want to share how my coach has recently reminded me of the importance of not focusing on the negative but observing the said problem and moving on to the step of solving.
When we bring our attention to what isn’t working, our brain waves become wired to those thoughts and beliefs, and we organize our life around the identity we label ourselves with. All of this is to suggest not walking away from this read with a newly realized label that you now identify yourself with, but learning how to navigate through what isn’t working towards what does.
Let’s dive into solution-focused tasks by first asking yourself:
What if waiting until you think you're ready to take action in your life is what’s keeping you from evolving? What if not waiting and instead taking imperfect action is the only way to progress? We’re never ready for what is ultimately unknown, so why not just give it a shot? Leap?
Because each trait is unique in and of itself - and - unique to you, I’ve mapped out these tools to serve you in navigating through your beautiful distractions so that you can get into flow with your goals, intentions, and, you know, life’s purpose.
People Pleaser
You are most like the five people you spend your time with - Do they align with your goals? I’m not telling you to go on a spree and cut everyone out of your life - but allowing
yourself to lay out who you want to be and how the people you are putting first make you feel, it can offer a new perspective to you and will enable you to create some healthy boundaries so that you can be you; learn more about what that means, harness your strength from within, and in turn, be able to show up even better for your people on your terms.
When you show up for you, you get to give with the overflow of your cup.
Writing Prompt:
Who are the people you spend most of your time with? How do you feel before, during, and after spending time with them?
From here, assess whether or not it is appropriate to set healthy boundaries. Give yourself the space to do this and address any guilt that may come up for even considering said boundaries. Often and almost always, the ones we set boundaries against aren’t even aware, especially if we do it from a gentle and loving space.
Challenge:
The next time someone in your world asks you to do something, wait 10 seconds before answering, allowing yourself a moment to consider what you want. If it’s a no, unapologetically tell them so without scrambling for an excuse.
If you're going to stay home and do you in a bathrobe and socks, with some moon milk and howl at the freaking stars, that's your damn right - and I bet if you proudly shared that that's what you're going to do, you will likely inspire those you set boundaries around to have some alone time too.
Scaredy Susan
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” - Jack Canfield.
All our conscious minds want is to be heard and considered.
Your conscious mind is simply trying to protect you from what could happen. When we are led solely by this mindset, it almost always inhibits us from hearing what our unconscious mind or intuition wants to express, ultimately leaving us feeling stuck in a fear-based world.
Writing Prompt:
Stream of consciousness out on paper everything that could happen if you take action on your goals. The failures, the judgement, all of your “what if’s” - put them on paper so you can see them.
Then, read them back to yourself, and give your fears the satisfaction of being heard. I bet you’ll laugh at some when you listen to it outside of your mind.
Challenge:
Pick a goal you aspire to achieve - that one you are holding back on, yet it continues to take up space. Your goal can be completing a triathlon, writing your book, losing 10 lbs, sharing your gifts with the world, or running one mile. Choose the thing that lights you up the most and do SOMETHING today that gets you closer to accomplishing this goal.
Write a page or twenty.
Get rid of all the processed food in your pantry.
Pull out your stinky old running shoes and walk half a mile.
Speak your truth.
Do that one thing, take the imperfect messy actionable step in the direction of what you WANT today. Every little thing counts, and every day you put it off adds up to more days, months, and likely years against your trajectory towards what you want to accomplish.
Grace yourself with permission to be imperfect and lean into your “what if’s” - because what if it gets to be fucking great?
Hovering Perfectionist
“Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that's really preventing us from taking flight.” - Brene Brown.
What would happen if you started before you were ready?
That workout program, writing your book, offering your genius idea to the world, painting, eating healthy, waking up early…that thing you’ve been putting off. We all have something and often wait for things to be just right and in order, checked off, and perfectly prepped to take that first dreamy step into our vision. If you keep waiting for the perfect timing to take that unrealistic step forward, you’ll likely wait forever. No one likes a movie where everything is perfect the whole time, no rushes of adrenaline and excitement, no conquering of fears - no one would watch that, so why would you want to experience your life in a padded room?
Writing Prompts:
What are you protecting yourself from by carrying your shield of perfectionism? And what would happen if you put it down?
What might happen if you started before you were ready?
What can happen if you start now?
Challenge:
Make or leave a mess. I’m sorry; as a recovering perfectionist, I understand how this one hurts a bit. I promise it won't for long; if anything, it’s quite liberating once you sink into it and feel the strings “holding everything” dissolve in realizing that they were just holding you hostage to your liberation and creative freedom.
I invite you to get messy with just one thing.
Scribble in your notebook
Pick a wall and paint it with no plan.
Bake cookies with your kids and play with them in their joyful flour glory.
Leave the mess you would typically clean before starting something and dive into it instead.
If it helps, I’m sitting at my cleaned-up dining table, looking into my son's messy playroom as I write this, and to my once OCD limiting mindset, it’s quite satisfying.
Distracted David
We have forgotten how to be bored.
Our lives are filled to the brim with opportunities to “check out” and fill the void of our wandering minds - social media, binge-watching tv, and even what we label as “productive tasks” are often a form of this unintentional addiction that keeps us from the depths of our truth, unconscious minds, and emotional homeostasis. Unless you live off the grid, immersed in the earth without internet, rise with the sun, and rest when it falls in perfect circadian rhythm - you, my friend, are overstimulated. We are an overstimulated species. So what do we do with this? We must lean into the tried and true, scientifically proven ways of connecting deeper to ourselves, each other, and the earth - we need to unplug. It really is as simple as that. Unplug, leave your phone behind, step out onto the earth, and slow down. We are consuming at an unshakeable rate - other people's lives- regularly. It leads to comparison, self-doubt, emotional imbalance, anxiety, depression, lack of creative thinking, and a significant lack of motivation. I’m not saying everything on the internet and social media is a disastrous tornado, but unless you have a disciplined awareness of your consumption, you are likely caught in the storm.
Writing Prompts:
List out all of the ways you are being consumed by distraction. Allow yourself to see it reflected when you are picking up your phone or device and scrolling, flipping through movie options. Be completely honest with yourself; it serves nothing to avoid the truth about how you spend your time. List out the times of day when this occurs, how often, and how much time has been paid.
Now list all you gain by minimizing your consumption. Consider all of what you will now get to notice in real life, hear in your surroundings, and the time you get to gain back. It’s not only about time - but if we start realizing the amount of time spent and take those pockets back, we regain all of the energy we could use elsewhere and continue to gain day after day with better habits.
Challenge:
Discontinue the use of screens 1-2 hours before bed and 1-2 hours after waking up. Use this time to connect to yourself and your loved ones, prepare for your days, and fill your space with thoughts that aren’t being curated by the outside world.
Spend time in silence to recharge your mind and soothe the vibration of this fast-paced reality. Start with a pocket of time in your day when you would generally consume some kind of sound or outside stimulation. Ten minutes, block it off and do your task - dishes, laundry, cooking, driving in a pool of your own etheric space.
Until you can approach yourself from the perspective that your mindset does not define you; instead, it is an embodiment of external conditions and habitual traits observed and passed down over time - they will continue to be your guiding compass.
Use these tools for diving deeper into your habits, comforts, excuses, or reasons and take a stab at rewiring how you move about your day, one day at a time. Each day, if you show up and make decisions based on the person you want to become, one day soon, you won’t even recognize who you are today.
“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become.” - James Clear
